Isn't it funny how life gets in the way. Before you know it, all your dreams and plans go on the backburner because you need to attend to more pressing issues....such as surviving life with four active kids. You go into survival mode and cover the basic necessities - food, shelter, school, work, footy, dance, and if you're lucky, sleep and rest. And the occasional mowing and whipper snipping of the yard to reassure neighbours that the zombie apocalypse has not yet commenced, you are indeed alive and the house is still habitable.
But in the process, if you haven't been careful, you start to realise that you no longer do anything just for you. Something that relates to you and only you. All those things that you like to do - yoga, gardening, writing, reading, being creative - get squished out as other activities like housework and footy and dance and karate take precedence. Unfortunately there are only so many hours in the day in which to cram everything in. Don't get me wrong, I love that my kids are so active, but where is the time for me? When do I get to do what I want to do?
This year is a significant birthday milestone for me. At my last significant birthday I had a mini freak out as I felt that I had not achieved everything I set out to achieve by that time. I considered myself a failure - what had my life become? I compared myself to where everybody else was at that time (big mistake I know, but they were all gallivanting around Europe and I was at home with two toddlers so of course it seemed more glamorous!). I was unsure of myself, I was unhealthy and I was unhappy. I was a smart intelligent woman but I felt trapped by circumstance and I became resentful of everything and everyone. I vowed to myself that I was not going to feel the same way at my next milestone birthday. So in the past 10 years, I have consciously made the effort to travel more, I have attained my Masters degree, I have got myself back in the workforce, I commenced this blog, I have started and stopped yoga more times than I can remember, I completed a solo overseas trip and walked up a volcano, and in the past couple of years tried very hard at improving my stress levels, overall health, fitness and strength. I have been trying to find me again.
Approaching this next milestone birthday I feel I have begun to become more comfortable with me. I have come to recognise that I am a chronic negative self-talker and I need to stop. I have come to terms with the fact that I am a natural introvert and putting myself out there to be more extroverted is exhausting for me, and if I don't recover and recharge with alone time, I become sick, stressed out and not a very nice person to be around. I am also starting to find my voice and say 'no'. I am gradually starting to 'let go' of some things and get the others who live in this house to assist with jobs - they don't do it the way I do it, but I have to let that go if I want it done. In the past week I have begun meditating - more out of curiosity's sake than anything else - but already I feel as though creative thoughts are being to creep back in. Like a hidden treasure chest with a creaky lid, I am beginning to dust off the cobwebs and am starting to find me again.
It is my plan this year to start working towards some new goals that I have been considering for a while, but because of circumstances, and little Miss Negative Self-talk, I keep putting off. Life is too short and I would much rather say 'Remember when I....' rather than 'I wonder what would have happened if I had done...'. To begin, this year hubby and I will be ticking off Number 1 on my bucket list...trekking the Incan Trail to Macchu Picchu in Peru! I'm so excited I can't wait!
Its currently raining, complete with a thunder and lightening show, and the smell is amazing (I'm going to ignore the fact that I spent three hours this afternoon moving the sprinkler every 15mins to give the veggie garden a good watering! - but I digress - maintain positive thoughts - focus!). Although it's intense, after a while it passes, everything cools down, and the calm returns. Much like my life, I know that I will have time for me again, I've just got to keep a hold onto 'me' until it passes.
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Tuesday, 23 January 2018
Saturday, 4 August 2012
Frog Pond Stage 1
To quote Dale Kerrigan from the Australian cult movie classic 'The Castle':
"I dug a hole"
Yes, folks that's what we did today. We dug a hole. A hole for our new pond to hopefully entice the frogs out of the swimming pool and not to their untimely death. We are also hoping this little pond will encourage more beneficial insects to our little patch of dirt. And more birds and bees. Preferably those that like aphids and the Cherry/Pear slug.
And this is where we got to this afternoon. Next on the agenda is rock placement, overlaps and design. We hope to have some fish living in here as well so will need to make sure they have some hidey holes to dive into. I already have a few water plants sitting in a bucket ready to go. I hope this little project works!
"I dug a hole"
Yes, folks that's what we did today. We dug a hole. A hole for our new pond to hopefully entice the frogs out of the swimming pool and not to their untimely death. We are also hoping this little pond will encourage more beneficial insects to our little patch of dirt. And more birds and bees. Preferably those that like aphids and the Cherry/Pear slug.
We chose a site up in our orchard near some existing rocks. I am hoping to incorporate these rocks as well as the ones we picked up on Freecycle to create a little rockery and pond combo.
The chooky girls love a good digging 'cause they get a bellyful of worms.
Gotta love child labour :)
Wednesday, 28 March 2012
What on earth do I do all day?
Yesterday I was greeted with a wry smile and a 'So what did you do all day?'
Most would automatically think it would come from my lovely hubby (and most often than not it does - if he is feeling a tad risque and wanting to see how close he can come to his own demise) but today it came from my 7yo daughter.
So for you precious, when one day I let you have free access to the Internet and you stumble across this blog, I will outline my day for you to hopefully explain why I didn't get around to much housework and why the house pretty much looks the same as when you left for school.
5.20am - Alarm goes off to get my sorry arse out of bed and on the treadmill. I can no longer exercise during the day as your twin brothers do not have a daytime nap. I do not want us to end in a tangled mess against the wall so I have to get up before you are all awake. I hit the snooze button a couple more times and finally get on treadmill 20mins later. I read somewhere that being fitter is supposed to give you more energy. Its three months in and I am still waiting for more energy to arrive.
6.30am - Hot, sweaty and finally awake I enter the kitchen to start making you and your sister's lunch for the day. Your sister and brothers are up and in full swing and I after I turn on your light and wake you up I have to go back in/yell out to get out of bed another five times before you actually grace us with your presence.
7am - All four of you are at the table and eating breakfast when I remember I haven't ironed any uniforms for today and rush off to do that. You are all fighting over something and not eating your breakfast as usual. I have to keep coming back out to break up fights and to hurry you all along.
7.20am - Jump in for a quick shower, only to be constantly interrupted by someone dobbing on someone else for doing something that they shouldn't be. You still haven't got dressed yet and are playing with your Lego. Manage to wrangle your brothers out of their PJ's and into clean clothes for today. Coax/wrestle your sister to the toilet before I can argue with her over what she wants to wear this morning.
7.45am - Tell everyone its time to go and to get into the car only to find out nobody has their hair done or bags packed. Nobody is moving and we are running late. Try to organise the last of the shopping list and all shopping trip paraphernalia. We are running so late!
7.55am - Five people finally ready and everyone is strapped in car when I remember about replacing the chook's water after their worming solution yesterday. Stop car mid way down driveway and sprint to chooks yard only to find they haven't touched it and replace with water. They drink it happily the feathered bitches! Realise dog hasn't got any water either and do that on sprint back to car.
8.20am - Get into Canberra and sit in traffic. Thankfully I remembered to make a tea in the car mug so I get a liquid breakfast today - as I still can't have a shower AND breakfast on the same morning - just doesn't work. Finally get you to school, wish you a good day and sprint back to car to high tail it back to preschool in Murrumbateman to drop your sister off by 9am.
9.15am - Finally make it back to preschool, drop your sister off, go and collect parcel, post some letters and head to Yass to go grocery shopping.
9.45am - Make it to Yass to do jobs with your brothers in tow. Decide to park at supermarket and walk down the street for some fresh air. Change library books and attempt to get everything on your list for your Easter Bonnet parade next week. Try to coax the creative juices into flowing as I can't get half the stuff on your list and I try to come up with another design on the fly. Head back to Supermarket 1 and let boys run as they don't have double toddler trolleys. Takes 5 times longer as I have to constantly put things back on the shelves. Back into car to make it to Supermarket 2 and morning tea for the boys as I forgot that in the rush this morning.
11.40am - Make it back home after stop off to get manual wormer for chooks which the store didn't have. Boys are finally sleep. I leave them in the car while I unpack all the groceries.
12.15pm - OK I admit it - I sat on the couch and put my feet up to read my new library book while the boys were asleep. I am knackered after being on the go all morning. This is the first time I have managed to actually sit down with a book during the day for AT LEAST the last month. I am such a lazy person.
12.45pm- Boys wake up and I make them lunch. Check emails and unpack and repack dishwasher.
2.15pm - Head off to pick up your sister from preschool early so that we can be at your school to pick you up on time. Spend the next hour or so listening to the three of them fight in a small confined space. Radio keeps getting louder.
4pm - Finally home again. I feed you guys afternoon tea, let the chooks
5.20pm - Managed to wrestle you all into the bath while dinner is still cooking. Forgot to put rubbish bins out and madly run around collecting rest of the rubbish from house. Once I get you guys out and physically dress three of you, I run the bin down the front. Come back and continue to help you with your homework and reminders about news group preparation and recorder practice in readiness for the following day whilst still prepping for dinner.
6pm - Four kiddies seated at the table, and silly me, I thought you would all eat the spaghetti bolognaise I made for dinner. You ate it, but your brothers didn't, and I spend the next half an hour trying to get them to eat a mouthful and stay at the table whilst finishing my own meal. We finish, I pack up the dinner plates and go out to feed the chooks and water plants in the greenhouse. Notice that the sky is a bit grey so head back to house to get harvest basket, head back to veggie garden and gather all the ripe tomatoes I could find to put towards the passata I will hopefully make tomorrow.
7.15pm - Gather you all into bathroom to clean your teeth, then off to bed to read books to the three younger ones. Finally get them in bed and come into listen to you do your home reader for the night.
8pm - Think I have finally got you all off to sleep. Deep breath. Kitchen and house in general is a mess so I give it a quick clean but honestly couldn't be stuffed so I put the kettle on instead for a cuppa. Sit down with said cuppa only to realise your PE shirt is still in the wash. Get up hang it out and call a friend to ask the name of what manual worming solution is. Tea goes cold.
10pm - Finally crawl into bed after feeding dog, putting a load of washing on delay to start the following morning, making jelly for lunches tomorrow, sorting through today's mail and giving the floor a quick sweep. I try to read some more of my library book but am nodding off after two pages. Book down, lights out, sleep.
I.am.knackered.
So my dear girl, that is what Mummy did all day today.
And today was a relatively quiet day.
Most would automatically think it would come from my lovely hubby (and most often than not it does - if he is feeling a tad risque and wanting to see how close he can come to his own demise) but today it came from my 7yo daughter.
So for you precious, when one day I let you have free access to the Internet and you stumble across this blog, I will outline my day for you to hopefully explain why I didn't get around to much housework and why the house pretty much looks the same as when you left for school.
5.20am - Alarm goes off to get my sorry arse out of bed and on the treadmill. I can no longer exercise during the day as your twin brothers do not have a daytime nap. I do not want us to end in a tangled mess against the wall so I have to get up before you are all awake. I hit the snooze button a couple more times and finally get on treadmill 20mins later. I read somewhere that being fitter is supposed to give you more energy. Its three months in and I am still waiting for more energy to arrive.
6.30am - Hot, sweaty and finally awake I enter the kitchen to start making you and your sister's lunch for the day. Your sister and brothers are up and in full swing and I after I turn on your light and wake you up I have to go back in/yell out to get out of bed another five times before you actually grace us with your presence.
7am - All four of you are at the table and eating breakfast when I remember I haven't ironed any uniforms for today and rush off to do that. You are all fighting over something and not eating your breakfast as usual. I have to keep coming back out to break up fights and to hurry you all along.
7.20am - Jump in for a quick shower, only to be constantly interrupted by someone dobbing on someone else for doing something that they shouldn't be. You still haven't got dressed yet and are playing with your Lego. Manage to wrangle your brothers out of their PJ's and into clean clothes for today. Coax/wrestle your sister to the toilet before I can argue with her over what she wants to wear this morning.
7.45am - Tell everyone its time to go and to get into the car only to find out nobody has their hair done or bags packed. Nobody is moving and we are running late. Try to organise the last of the shopping list and all shopping trip paraphernalia. We are running so late!
7.55am - Five people finally ready and everyone is strapped in car when I remember about replacing the chook's water after their worming solution yesterday. Stop car mid way down driveway and sprint to chooks yard only to find they haven't touched it and replace with water. They drink it happily the feathered bitches! Realise dog hasn't got any water either and do that on sprint back to car.
8.20am - Get into Canberra and sit in traffic. Thankfully I remembered to make a tea in the car mug so I get a liquid breakfast today - as I still can't have a shower AND breakfast on the same morning - just doesn't work. Finally get you to school, wish you a good day and sprint back to car to high tail it back to preschool in Murrumbateman to drop your sister off by 9am.
9.15am - Finally make it back to preschool, drop your sister off, go and collect parcel, post some letters and head to Yass to go grocery shopping.
9.45am - Make it to Yass to do jobs with your brothers in tow. Decide to park at supermarket and walk down the street for some fresh air. Change library books and attempt to get everything on your list for your Easter Bonnet parade next week. Try to coax the creative juices into flowing as I can't get half the stuff on your list and I try to come up with another design on the fly. Head back to Supermarket 1 and let boys run as they don't have double toddler trolleys. Takes 5 times longer as I have to constantly put things back on the shelves. Back into car to make it to Supermarket 2 and morning tea for the boys as I forgot that in the rush this morning.
11.40am - Make it back home after stop off to get manual wormer for chooks which the store didn't have. Boys are finally sleep. I leave them in the car while I unpack all the groceries.
12.15pm - OK I admit it - I sat on the couch and put my feet up to read my new library book while the boys were asleep. I am knackered after being on the go all morning. This is the first time I have managed to actually sit down with a book during the day for AT LEAST the last month. I am such a lazy person.
12.45pm- Boys wake up and I make them lunch. Check emails and unpack and repack dishwasher.
2.15pm - Head off to pick up your sister from preschool early so that we can be at your school to pick you up on time. Spend the next hour or so listening to the three of them fight in a small confined space. Radio keeps getting louder.
4pm - Finally home again. I feed you guys afternoon tea, let the chooks
5.20pm - Managed to wrestle you all into the bath while dinner is still cooking. Forgot to put rubbish bins out and madly run around collecting rest of the rubbish from house. Once I get you guys out and physically dress three of you, I run the bin down the front. Come back and continue to help you with your homework and reminders about news group preparation and recorder practice in readiness for the following day whilst still prepping for dinner.
6pm - Four kiddies seated at the table, and silly me, I thought you would all eat the spaghetti bolognaise I made for dinner. You ate it, but your brothers didn't, and I spend the next half an hour trying to get them to eat a mouthful and stay at the table whilst finishing my own meal. We finish, I pack up the dinner plates and go out to feed the chooks and water plants in the greenhouse. Notice that the sky is a bit grey so head back to house to get harvest basket, head back to veggie garden and gather all the ripe tomatoes I could find to put towards the passata I will hopefully make tomorrow.
7.15pm - Gather you all into bathroom to clean your teeth, then off to bed to read books to the three younger ones. Finally get them in bed and come into listen to you do your home reader for the night.
8pm - Think I have finally got you all off to sleep. Deep breath. Kitchen and house in general is a mess so I give it a quick clean but honestly couldn't be stuffed so I put the kettle on instead for a cuppa. Sit down with said cuppa only to realise your PE shirt is still in the wash. Get up hang it out and call a friend to ask the name of what manual worming solution is. Tea goes cold.
10pm - Finally crawl into bed after feeding dog, putting a load of washing on delay to start the following morning, making jelly for lunches tomorrow, sorting through today's mail and giving the floor a quick sweep. I try to read some more of my library book but am nodding off after two pages. Book down, lights out, sleep.
I.am.knackered.
So my dear girl, that is what Mummy did all day today.
And today was a relatively quiet day.
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